Friday, December 13, 2013

My Thoughts.

I neglect this blog too much. It's very apparent that I definitely need an outlet to express my feelings. In the past those feelings will just come out, and I don't put a "filter on it".

I don't know that I necessarily need to do that on my blog, but knowing that feelings could get hurt, could the wrong people get a hold of my thoughts and take them the wrong way, I should put a filter on it. Think of Beyonce's tune, "Single Ladies" Put a Ring on it...then think of me singing, "put a filter on it." Whatcha think? :)

I can't figure out what I want to do. Should I continue blogging? I've made some decent money blogging recently. Gotten some perks, free stuff etc. Made a few friends. Are they fake? Are they real? That's left to be undetermined so far. One blog, I thought was gonna be awesome, and I got a ton of followers, and things were going great. Thought I was gonna have help. Then I didn't. I'm 98% sure I'm just gonna shut it down. If I can change the name on it, I will just change the direction of it, and make it something for me.

I started into this blogging world as a way for me to have something to do. I don't know what I thought my expectations were. I had no idea how big things were. There are so many things. So many people. So many people think that they are a blogger. It's kind of funny. Some people are too into it, and it make me sick. Those people make a butt load of money for just saying a company's name, and it's not fair. They just got lucky. Those people are not nice to the tiny little bloggers like me. It's all clique-y and that's lame. Makes me feel like I'm in high school.

I just want to be everyone's friend. I don't want people to feel left out. I've been one to feel left out for years. Is it how I dress? Is it cause I don't wear 10 lbs of make up? Is it cause I'm fat? Or is it cause I don't wear a tacky scarf or funky ugly headwrap? I don't want to change who I am to fit in. I don't need the newest fashions or things to fit in. I do however, need people to be nice to me AND everyone. People should stop excluding others.

I know I have friends who are friends with others, and when they are around certain people, they'll ignore me. Makes me sad/upset. I don't understand why I'm still friends with them, and put forth effort in that but I do.

Sorry my thoughts are sporadic, but I have so many. I enjoy what the last year of being in this blogging world has given me. I'm toying with the idea of giving up a lot of it. I feel like I'm in it for the wrong reasons. I have put in SOOO many hours of learning so many logistics of blogging that I feel like I HAVE TO stay in it. I know more about social media than a normal person should. I know more dos and don'ts for blogging than I should. I do more don'ts than dos. Out of pure laziness. I need to be better about that.

For now, I have a lot of Companies that emailed me and asked me to review their services/products so I will finish them out, but that may be it for a while. I don't know. I feel like I'm going a little crazy doing too many things. I love the money, but know that there has to be another way. Focus more on content, and maybe do ad's or find a service/product that I can do. I'm terrible at stuff.

My purple Cricut died again. I Love my cricuts. I'm really missing having my big Cricut though. I have 2 brand new large 12x24 mats and haven't been able to use it but once, cause my machine is just terrible. It's purple with pretty designs on it. My "contact" at cricut says he can't help me til February. Argh. I do LOVE my Cricut Mini though. That machine has seen so much use. I've used the crap out of 4 of the mats. I was using glue-dots to make the paper stick it was so bad. I'm almost all done with a 5th mat. The Mini is my 3rd machine. I've had it almost a year now, and I've never used that many mat's. I've had a cricut since 2007 or 2008, I think. I think it's because of the Cricut Craft room, and having access to so many images. Definitely a lot better than having to get all those cartridges! I just want my big Cricut so I can cut bigger things!! I need to organize my craft room. One day. One day. I really want a peg board to hang things up.

I'd like to post more things on here, but I never really know what to say...I do have some sites that have prompts, so maybe i'll start there.

Til then, later gators! ;)